Talent

 

                                                           Buddha

 

This afternoon I was looking at the stuff stuck to the refrigerator by my wife, Sarah. We both like to post wise sayings. The frig is her domain. “Dust Bunnies Killed My Cleaning Fairy” is a favorite of mine, but the one that really started me thinking was, “He is able who thinks he is able,” by the Buddha. It has been up there as long as I can remember, and I never thought much about it. I suppose it’s authentic, or at least as authentic as a 2500 year old saying can be, but it doesn’t sound like the kind of thing Buddha would say. He sounds almost like a capitalist. I would imagine a more Buddha like saying would be, ‘Don’t worry about losing your cleaning fairy. Just go with the flow.’ It makes me think that a capitalist took Buddha’s words and altered them to go along with more ‘modern’ thinking. 

The idea that anyone can become successful, rich, or famous, that anyone can make a significant contribution to society, is baked into our culture. I remember believing that since childhood. It inspired me to study harder, to practice long hours on my violin. When I didn’t get an A or wasn’t the best at something, I just attributed it to lack of effort. 

This attitude worked pretty well through college. I didn’t get straight A’s but I was always in the top 15 or 20% of the class, and I managed to win first chair in the All-state Orchestra in high school, and in the University of Oklahoma orchestra too. On top of that, I read books by really smart authors like Asimov, even Camus, and I cultivated friendships with really smart people, thinking that if I could understand them and if they accepted me, that would put me on their level. The fact that I couldn’t understand integral calculus, or learn to speak German didn’t put me off. I just needed to find my niche. 

I think my first suspicion that I couldn’t be the best just by thinking I was, like Buddha supposedly said, or by working hard, came after my first year in medical school. I went there intending to be among the best in my class. I thought, ‘this is going to be my profession, my life’s work, so I’m going to work hard and be successful.' I studied the material for long hours. I even started smoking a pipe because someone told me it would help me to stay alert when I was tired, but I found that wasn’t enough. In med school everyone was smart. Everyone was working hard. I couldn’t be the best no matter how hard I tried. I was making C’s. I had never been a C student, never in my life. 

So I made a decision. I marched into the dean’s office and told him that I hadn’t learned the material well enough, and that I needed to repeat the first year. He didn’t seem upset. He didn’t kick me out of school like I half expected he would. He just reassured me. He said that nobody remembers all that stuff, that all you have to do is get familiar with the subject. If you need to refresh your mind about the details, you know where to look it up. He said that what it takes to be a good doctor is the humility to realize your limitations and the interest to keep learning.  So I  stayed in school, and tried to accept the fact that I wasn’t going to be at the top of my class. 

It was the same with my violin playing. I love to play and I’ve continued to play in my spare time all my life. Sometimes I have played in amateur orchestras and chamber groups, and occasionally for small groups as a soloist. But mainly, I just play for myself. It’s a time when I can relax and reflect. During my last years in medical practice I started playing at nursing homes, and I started transcribing and arranging popular pieces. The classical solo pieces for the violin were flashy but difficult to play and so I tried to play tunes that were easier and more familiar to the patients, popular tunes from the 30’s and 40’s. Gradually I’ve come to realize that I’m just a mediocre violinist. The reason I used to think I was exceptional was because there wasn’t much competition. I was only competing against people my age, mainly in just my home town, and when I won first chair in the state orchestra it was in Oklahoma, a small state. Recently I auditioned for a seat in our community orchestra, one of several in the city of Denver. I made the cut but when I started playing with them I was surprised to find that they were all as good or better than I. I still play, but it’s only because I enjoy it. I get better with practice, but no matter how hard I try I’ll never  be exceptional. 

I have had to fight this misconception all my life, that I’m just as smart or capable as anyone. The media reinforces this idea. They interview successful people and almost without exception the story they tell is one of hard work, determination, overcoming obstacles. The truth, in my opinion, is that they just have exceptional abilities. If you interview people who are average, I think you would get similar stories. Some people are just smarter or more talented than others. 

I think it is a dangerous delusion to accept the notion that we are all equal, that anyone can be successful with hard work and determination. It makes us take on tasks or responsibilities that are beyond us. It makes us discount the opinions of experts, and credit the opinions of those with little knowledge or background. It makes people disbelieve well established scientific facts, like human induced climate change, or evolution. It enables charlatans to create followings on the strength of their personalities without any facts to support them. 

So what’s a conscientious person to do? No matter how smart you are there are millions smarter, more educated, more talented than you. Should you just give up and let others make the decisions? That obviously doesn’t work. Smart people don’t all agree. They make decisions based on ambition, prejudice, status, expectations, and the smarter they are, the better they are at rationalizing their decisions. On a societal level decisions are made by the most vocal, usually a minority - think Nazis in Germany, the Taliban in Afghanistan, Communists in Russia and China. 

What would my wise cousin Steve say? (I’ll find out as soon as I publish this post) First he’d say, “earn your oxygen.” Do things that benefit your family, friends and society. Then he’d say, “be open minded.” Listen to people on both sides of every issue, and try to understand their point of view. Most of them are just as smart as you, and they have reasons for their viewpoints, no matter how foolish they may seem, and then share your opinions.